3 Great Blowjob Bars in Bangkok – The Whore Monger

3 Great Blowjob Bars in Bangkok

I’ve been to Bangkok previously but I didn’t check out ANY of the blowjob bars. Surprising as I love blowjobs more than sex. The great thing about BBBJs too, is that there is less risk of catching an STD vs unprotected sex. Yeah, you can still catch anything from unprotected oral sex, even HIV but that is very rare. Life is short, I am willing to take that risk.

On the flight, the only thing I kept thinking of were blowjobs and how good they were going to feel. Nothing like a blowjob that consists of just lips and mouth only, no hands and the right amount of suction with the mouth. One thing about Thai women that I love, is their smile. But it’s not because I love those pretty smiles, it’s because I get to see their teeth. I am no dentist, but I can see big-protruding-crooked-scary-teeth when I see a pair. The main adjective is “protruding” because if that is the case, you are going to feel her teeth scratch your cock. When it comes to these blowjob bars in Bangkok, I don’t care about the girls’ looks. I am there for one thing only and that’s an amazing blowjob. If she has good teeth and a good attitude, I think the dice should be rolled. That philosophy took me about two days to learn.

From best to worst, here are 3 great Blowjob Bars:

1. Lolitas

Price: $800 Baht
Websitehttp://lolitasbangkok.com/
Location:

Review: The best. It’s run well. The madam is the bartender and all in all, runs the place. I thought I wouldn’t like it at first. When I first went, a girl with gnarly teeth followed me in. She did have a sweet personality but I just couldn’t get by her teeth that seemed to go in every direction possible. She sat at the bar inside with me as I drank my beer. As I came to finishing my beer, I asked to pay so I could leave. At this moment, gnarly teeth realized I wasn’t a customer of hers and left. The madam told me she has other girls and right away, Nan comes over with a bubbly personality, a nice tight body and a nice set of teeth. I said lets go. Upstairs we went. There is just one big room with curtains that section off your blowjob space. I undressed, she came back prepped and off she started sucking. Very good. She played with my nipples, twisting them as she blew. She was a Pro. I came twice with her. I went back a few times when Nan wasn’t there and again, I got nipple twisting and a great blowjob. They must have a teacher teaching these girls technique. Unfortunately I failed at getting a picture of the inside, thinking I had taken a photo.

2. Som’s Haven

Price: $700 baht
Location:

Review: This was a close second. Both places I really liked. Som’s had some great girls and the atmosphere was great. It’s down this dingy little road. Without my Google Maps, I would never have thought a great blowjob bar would have existed on this road. I originally felt I was going down a hot dog road. But there at the end of the road on the left, are girls specializing in sucking penis. Yes. There were some very cute girls too. Very very cute girls. This one girl came up to me, very aggressively and started telling me how she was a pro. That no other girl could compete with her blowjob. No hands, all mouth.. and it would be that way until I came, even if it took 40 minutes. I asked, “and how about your teeth?” and she replied, “what you think, I am amateur hehehe?” I took her up on her offer right then. We went upstairs and finished me beer while she gave a spectacular blowjob. She was a woman of her word. No hands the entire time and she proved to me that she was indeed the best. I can’t remember her name but I told her that I would be back the following day.

The next day I came back but this time I came earlier than before. As I am nearing Som’s I catch a glimpse of a hand waving, like that of a frantic dog’s tail going back and forth at the sight of a delicious pig’s ear. She started to swipe the corners of her mouth with a napkin. She takes the plate in her hands and throws it down into the trash can. She just finished eating. We walk side by side into Som’s. The great Som’s.

“I’m ready, lets go upstairs?” I said

“Would you like something to drink first?”

“Ok, I take a beer upstairs with me. One beer please!” I shouted to the bartender

She was hesitant but eventually followed me upstairs. I sensed something was wrong but I couldn’t put my finger on the smell. I undress and she helped me wash my pretty skinny baseball bat. Now onto the red leather plastic couch I sat. Okay lady, what are you doing? She’s using her hands! “Hey, remember I don’t like hands”

“I just ate spicy food” she said.

“That’s ok, I am sure it’ll be fine”

“It was really really spicy. I can still feel the taste in my mouth, you will feel too. I can grab another girl for you, wait one moment”

I don’t blame her, I love spicy food too.

“Ok” I said.

I waited there for the next girl. During that time, I pleaded with the Gods, all of them, for not to bring any perpetuating teeth. The door opened and in came a heavier set woman. Teeth looked good and so did her mannerisms. She got down to business right away. Mrs. Spicy must have told her that I didn’t like hands. She was good but not as good as Mrs. Spicy. I came and the deed was done and that was the last time I ever went back to Som’s. The great Som’s Haven.

The couch inside Som’s Haven where Heaven awaits

3. Wood Bar (formally known as Dr. Bjs)

Price: Regular: $800 Baht Executive: $1,000 Baht
Websitehttp://bjbarbangkok.com/
Location:

Review: Unfortunately I never had the pleasure to visit this establishment when it was under the alias of Dr. Bjs. I have a feeling the Thai government made them change the name, as the name was a bit too “in your face” but I applauded them for it. I went there in the afternoon, around 2pm to the now called Wood Bar. As I approached, it didn’t look too appealing like I thought it would. There were about 12 girls sitting in the outside area. As soon as I disclosed myself as a customer, they all spruced right up and stood in a line, similar to how potential suspects would line up at a police station so a witness to a crime could point out the guilty. Right then and there I had to choose a lady. There were only 2 regular girls available while the rest were executive. I found it to be a cheap move on their behalf. Have it be 50/50 so that if I pick a regular girl I don’t feel like a cheap prick. Plus the two regulars were of course not very attractive. I wasn’t really impressed with the entire lineup but here I am at a blowjob bar, I can’t complain. I picked an executive girl with pretty eyes that would twinkle in the moonlight. As we walked towards the room, I couldn’t help but notice how rundown the place was. Seemed as though the transition from Dr. BJs to Wood Bar put quite the dent on its appearance.

We enter the room and there, there is the lazyboy leather couch that I read about. The room however was a dump, like the rest of the place. she washed by cock and balls over the sink like the rest of the places. The chair was comfy. She used a little bit of teeth when sucking. Nice twinkling eyes don’t equate to a good blowjob I guess. She, however, was able to get me to come. On my way out there was a man doing something on the computer. I wonder if it was the owner but it could have just been an employee. As I got closer I took a look at his computer screen. He was playing Counter Strike and he was very in tune to his game.

Lazyboy type chair at Wood Bar. Quite comfy.