9:42pm

every time i see a graveyard
or look at a grave
i stare at it
i get up close to it and stare at the plaque
this one here, 1940-1999
how disheveled this corpse below me must be
dead for some time now
how pathetic all these dead people lying here are
not me
they all miserably failed to stop time
to take a breath or a day
to pause
and just tell life to slow down a little bit
so they could live on forever
that’s what i do
sometimes i just sit in my bed in the darkness
looking at the clock, 9:42pm
thinking i still have 40 to 50 more years to live
i’m never going to die with that kind of time left
plus here i am in the moment
thinking
and pausing life for all eternity
somehow these dead people forgot how
not me
but then i’m sure
one day i’ll wake up 40 to 50 years later
and think back to 9:42pm
and wonder why i didn’t pause for just a little while longer

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