How to Give a Good (Great!) Blow Job

You are here now. I have you, now listen. I am a blowjob connoisseur. I will tell you exactly how to give your man, and potentially me if we ever meet in a brothel, the greatest blowjob ever. One thing is for sure, you can’t have some liberal writing for cosmopolitan telling you how to give a blowjob. I will go into deep detail and after I am done with you, men will start referring to you as the Blowjob Queen.

Lets get into it. I’ll break it down in easy to follow steps.

Step 1 – Get it Hard

If you got a guy with a limp dick even after him playing with your tits and ass. Sorry. You just got to now suck on that little noodle until it becomes hard. Don’t use your hands god dammit. I know you probably saw that video of Kim Kardashian giving Ray J a blowjob. That was perhaps the worst thing that ever happened to mankind. Now every women thinks they have to use the right amount of mouth along with the syncopated used of their hands. I don’t care how big the dick you got in front of you, stop using your hands and learn how to use your mouth and throat. There is nothing more sexy than hearing the gushes of saliva and mouth tissue as you suck that cock.

Step 2 – Angle

No one ever talks about this. Angling the cock at the correct 90 degree angle is very important in order to get that cock to cum. Many times a girl will be sucking my cock at a weird angle, and she wonders why I can’t cum. Men are able to move and have a little control of their cock, just like we have minimal movement of our eyebrows. If I were to lift your eyebrows, no matter how much you tried to move them, you wouldn’t be able to as long as I had control. Here is a picture as to help my case:

 

Men are able to have minimal lift with their cock and are able to lift their cocks when really hard to a little more than 90 degrees. When a woman sucks on a man’s cock at 90 degrees and at the same time, while the man is trying to lift his cock with his cock muscles as she is sucking, it creates an amazing feeling that escalates a mans balls to pump out milk. A man can cum otherwise, but without this technique, it will take much longer and your jaws will start to get tired and boo hoo for you. Make sure you know. Suck at a 90 degree angle, as seen in the picture. Do not suck at a sideways angle either. Keep it simple. Suck on a straight on angle at 90 degrees.

Step 3 – Watch the Teeth

Some women are doomed as they have perpetuating teeth, where no matter how much they try to disengage their teeth, the cock will still get assaulted by teeth. If you find too many men accusing you of your teeth assault, you have perpetuating teeth. If this is you, I am not sure how to tell you about avoiding this issue. I guess one thing you can do is go to the dentist and tell them to pull out all your teeth and put in dentures. You would then give the best blowjob ever, with only gums, saliva, and tongue.

Step 4 – Pace and Suction

A blowjob can feel great, but a man will not cum unless there is constant pace. Keep the bobbing going. Do not stop. When a girl stops bobbing her head, it will only make it that much harder to make a man cum. If you need a breather from sucking, make it short. Also, many girls think that they have to bob their head fast: this is not the case. It’s all about keeping the same pace, just as a runner who is trying to keep a good minute mile. Suction is also very important. Guys want to feel your mouth like your mouth owns the cock. Too light of suction will not get the job done. Ask the guy to put out his finger. Suck on that finger and ask him what he likes for suction. Suck slow and gradually suck harder on his finger until he says stop. Apply that same pressure to his cock.

Step 5 – The Secret Sensitive Spot

For every guy’s cock, there is a sweet spot. It is right below the head on the bottom part of the cock. Tease it, lick it, and give it great attention.

Step 6 – (Not really a Step) The Cum

Some men prefer to cum on your face. Others don’t care, for most it’s just about getting to the cum. Some girls don’t like getting it on the face nor in their hair or in their mouth. As long as you are doing the first 5 steps right, men will have no complaints. Just remember, No Teeth, Good Suction, Good Pace, Sweet Spot.. and you should be all set. And a nice tongue ring is always a plus.