Sugar Daddy

don’t these women get it
i just want sex
and in return
i will give you the dinero
because you need the sugar
and i am the daddy
but you say
“i am not an escort”
“so what do you want?”
“i want a man that is a gentleman, humorous and generous”, she says
i wrote her back
“listen i am a nice guy
i’ve tried to be funny for the last 30 years
but it doesn’t work
i’m only looking for sex
i have money
if you satisfy me for one hour
i will give it to you
when you come to my house
i’ll open the door for you
i’ll even open a bottle of wine
how does that sound sugar baby?”
“ok i want $500 for the hour”
“that’s a lot of money
i could get an escort for $180”, i said
“i told you, i am not an escort”, she replied
“well”, i thought to myself
and then i replied
“i guess i’m not a sugar daddy”

“then what are you?”, she asked
“i’m your average john willing to pay market price”