I woke up. She had on all her clothes from the night before. Typically when we sleep together, she doesn’t even wear her panties. I look at my phone and I see many messages from her. We drank tequila the night before and as always, tequila puts me to sleep. I’m guessing that she came on to me and I denied her my cock. Confusing for her, as she is in the profession of working at a massage parlor pleasing men. As I am blacked out, she went to my fridge and scoured my entire apartment looking for reasons to accuse me of cheating and so forth. As I lay there next to her in the morning, with her back towards me, I press close with the hump position and one arm over her chest.
I never know how to act in these situations. Normally I would go for the whiskey bottle in the kitchen to help me think of something, but I’m all out. I knew if I just made her laugh that I could overcome her pissy attitude. I went in for the armpit to try the tickle tickle but it didn’t work. It just made it a little more awkward. So then, I went for the bathroom and suddenly I felt a turd come on. I sat on the toilet but I was too shy to let it all come out. I spread the cheeks and let a couple silent airy farts out that she could not hear, as the vents are humming creating a static noise. The turd is coming, but I knew it would stink. A part of me just wanted to really let it all come out as if I was alone in my apartment. I couldn’t. After about five minutes on the toilet, I pulled up my boxers with the turd still in me. I brushed my teeth and went back to bed.
Still with no ideas.
She then says she wants to go home. I think the turd in my stomach herd it, as I felt him jump for joy.
“Is the power back on in your apartment”, I said
She packed her things. I could sense she still wanted me to stop her, but I wasn’t going to. As I went to the door to let her out, she stood there with a disgusted face. She could not believe I wasn’t trying to stop her. As she left, I went in for a kiss but she shrugged away and denied me.
I still had one beer remaining in the fridge and the vent in the bathroom was still running.